The time someone else worried about elevators

Elevators and airplanes have a lot in common, mainly because they both involve cramming into tight spaces with strangers and hurling through space. Also, a malfunction with either one could mean certain death. Not that I’m being dramatic or anything. Contrary to what my rambling seems to indicate, I love elevators for saving me and my asthmatic lungs from climbing 8 flights of stairs every day. I’ve always thought of elevators as inoffensive since people can just choose not to use them. That is, until I met Mark and Steve (names have been changed).

Mark entered my office in a stressed-out state. Due to a building-wide remodel, remnants of unfinished construction assaulted the eyes with bare, bright white walls and the ears with clanging, banging, and crunching loud enough to wake the dead. Among the chaos was an elevator covered only by plywood and a “pardon our mess” sign. This seemed to be triggering for Mark. A few years back, he had purchased an office building with plans to set up his practice and rent the other offices. He just had to make it ADA compliant with a ramp and elevator. Soon after the purchase, he discovered it would take over a year before an elevator could be installed. After that, it would be at least another year before he could get the elevator inspected. Also, the elevator would cost almost as much as the building to install. He held out for two years, unable to bring in any money from his investment, before selling the building at a loss. Lets just say elevators were a real sore spot for him. Steve, who had been silently listening from his chair in the waiting room corner, shed some light on the situation. The building he owns includes two elevators freshly built and ready for inspection. Well, they were fresh 3 years ago. Now they just sit unused because of a shortage of qualified elevator inspectors. Don’t worry though; he’s on the waiting list. The two men continued exchanging stories about the maddening process of building renovations and ended up leaving together. It would seem the cure for the Seattle freeze can be found in shared suffering.

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